I learned to crochet from a friend over Winter Break. It was overcoming a hurdle for me as a knitter. Crochet was always "the other" and therefore intimidating. Soon, I found out that crochet is faster than knitting and just as relaxing. I began to see my crocheting expeditions as welcome challenges to make my stitches even, something I learned to do within my first few years of knitting. Once I perfected my stitches to a satisfying extent, I realized I could add my crochet scarves to AK Kerani's selection of sales items. Soon after, I started losing motivation to crochet.
If your chosen form of relaxation exists only to achieve a result, it becomes less therapeutic in a way - at least for me. Running a small business isn't easy. Sales don't come quickly. And it's easy to get into a hopeless mindset where you start asking yourself, "What's the point?" I stopped marketing my music for this exact reason. Something so precious to me shouldn't have its value inherently linked to how others perceive its worth. Theres nothing wrong with doing something just for the sake of it.
Every time, I discover a new talent or ability, my immediate reaction is to try and market it. What value could this skill have if others don't deem it worthy of investment? But all this mentality does is detach me from the activities I'm trying to use as therapy. When I think through the activities I do purely to better myself such as running, swimming or songwriting, I think about how solitary they've become for me. And that's not a bad thing. I don't have to be the best swimmer, the fastest runner or the most acclaimed songwriter to reap the benefits of these passions. I can accept that I do these things simply because I enjoy them, even if others may never even recognize me for them.
What are the things you like to do just for yourself? Those things seem to be a rare find for all of us - mainly because we've been raised in a society that pushes us from start to finish with very little room for side trails. However, it could be these things - the quiet passions - that keep us from losing ourselves.
Today, in honor of this realization, I'm just going to crochet for crocheting's sake. I'm not going to think about what my creation will be who to whom it will be given or sold. I'm just going to enjoy the motions and the seamless calm that the repetitive stitches provide.